Happy Birthday LAYNIE!!!

It is crazy that it has already been 1 year since you surprised us and made us so incredibly happy by coming into our family!

Dear Laynie,
Happy Birthday baby girl!!! Tears are already running down my cheeks as I sit down to write this. I am so proud of you and all you have accomplished this year! Your first year of life has been incredibly hard and this breaks my heart. The fact that you are here today on your birthday is a miracle! You are such a miracle and blessing in my life and so many others. The strongest feeling I have EVER received is that I was going to care for a very special child. I wasn't 100% positive it would be my own, but I KNEW there was going to be a special needs child in my life. This is the one and only thing that has ever been made extremely clear to me. I know you were sent especially to your dad and I. I am so happy that we were chosen to be your parents. When I had you everything just made sense and I knew you were going to be a very special girl! After you finally received the diagnosis of CHARGE syndrome I researched and researched for hours and hours. I came across something that haunted me for a while.... In the 1st year of life there is a 50% mortality rate in CHARGE syndrome. This number goes down significantly after the 1st year! I was shocked and scared (it is mostly due to the severe breathing problems and heart defects). I can vividly remember walking into your PICU room at Primary's and you were intubated and sedated. We had no clue what was going on with you and I have NEVER been so scared in my life. I remember that they usually only let one parent stay the night, but for some reason our room had two beds. I was so grateful because I didn't want to be alone if something went wrong during the night. I was so afraid of losing you, but shortly I began to realize that you are so strong and you weren't going anywhere! You are the strongest person I know and you have taught me to be strong! I am amazed at the strength both your dad and I have gained. Heavenly Father sent you to our family for a reason and we are learning why more and more every day. You have taught me so much and helped me gain so much more faith, patience, and compassion! You smile every day, even when every day you go through so much! I have hurt you and bug you everyday. I hate it. What a brave little girl you are! You are so happy. You never complain. You have a love for life and I really love that! You have accomplished more this year than most will in a lifetime. You have had 9 surgeries, many procedures, been under anesthesia 6 times, and have had so many appointments I couldn't count them all. You still have an incredibly hard road ahead of you, but I know you will have a happy life! I promise you that I will work as hard as I can to make sure your life is HAPPY! Of course this year has been very hard, but it has also been a wonderful year. You bring so much happiness to all of us! There is something so special about you that it is hard to explain. Many people have said this as well. While looking into your eyes you can tell that you are such a special little girl! It is the biggest honor to be your mom and to be able to have your special spirit in our home! I seriously don't know how I got so lucky to be your mom! I feel that you are too perfect to have been given a "normal" life. I think you agreed to this challenging life before you came here so you could help others. You are so amazing. I admire you so much. If I could take away all of your pain I would in an instant. You absolutely LOVE your dad and brother. You smile and kick your legs uncontrollably when you see them. You know that they love you and your love for them just radiates through your whole body. I love it! All of your family loves you so much! I love your relationship with your daddy. He loves you so much and would do anything in the world for you. I hope your 2nd year is a little bit easier on you. I hope it is full of firsts, smiles, learning signs, and so much happiness baby girl. You deserve all the happiness in the world! Thank you for being YOU! Thank you for being mine! I love you so much! HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY LAYNIE!
Love, Mom