A new trick....

Laynie can stand in her crib!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She thinks she is hot stuff and we are so proud of her:)

Our LOVELY weekend...

Our weekend was lovely....

Grandma Debbie invited Drake on a little vacation to go see my sister Afton and her family. Drake had a BLAST playing with his cousins, Jaxon and Ivy over the weekend:)

Trevor and I got a ton of Spring Cleaning done on Saturday and set up the trampoline for Drake. He was excited to jump when he got home. I think Laynie likes it more than anyone!!! Her excitement is so adorable.

Can you tell they are both happy?

We all spent at least an hour on Sunday afternoon just playing together.

Tickle, tickle...

These kids LOVE their daddy:)

We enjoyed being outside over the weekend sooooooooo much. I am so excited for summer!!!

Drake is learning to ride his bike, but he can't stop looking at his feet when he peddles. Looks like he might have my driving skills:)

I am hoping for a warm and wonderful spring!!! Can't wait for more of these fabulous weekends to come!!!

The many faces of my kids...

I am lucky to get to hang out with these two everyday!!!

Drake has been a lot nicer to his sister lately and it makes me a very happy mamma.

He went and got these chairs from downstairs and said the green one is for me and the blue one is for Laynie. The fact that he was thinking of her and wanted her to sit by him was great! Then, I put this dress on her and he said, "Laynie looks like a princess!!!"

I have been witnessing little acts of kindness on his part. I love it!!!

Drake is such a sweet boy and I really do know that he will protect her just like a big brother should...

Here is our photo shoot with the chairs that Drake wanted to sit in...

And............. I was at it again. I was determined to make some sugary goodness when my other cookies didn't turn out. This is what happened :(

The good news is the delicious corn flake, peanut butter, karo syrup, sugar balls turned out delicious. The bad news is they didn't get chocolate drizzled on top!!! Here is the link in case anyone wants to make them.

http://stickygooeycreamychewy.com/2008/01/06/holycraptheseareamazing-cookies/

The Next Great Baker...

Someone brought some delicious oreo cookies made with cookies and cream pudding, oreos, and white chocolate chips (and other stuff) to a church activity and they were delicious. I saw a recipe on pinterest that looked the same, so I had to try it. First of all, I made my 1st ever trip to the store with both of my kids to get the ingredients. I was smiling from ear to ear at the store.... Yes, it was a huge accomplishment for me!!! I had Laynie in the big basket in her car seat with her suction, oxygen, and diaper bag and Drake in the little basket because there was a steering wheel and he HAD to drive!!! I had NO room for groceries, so I was carrying most of them, but it was still a big success!!!

I got home and began to make my delicious cookies. I realized I was out of eggs and flour. I had just been to the store!!!!! I called my neighbor who often supplies me with many ingredients and she came to my rescue. I continued on my way and realized I was also missing baking soda. So, I was so embarrassed, but I called her again and went to get my ingredient. Thank you Kristie, I owe you big time!!!

I finished making them and they pretty much looked like oreo barf!!!!

This is proof to my mom that I do try to cook, but I am horrible. So just give up on me and continue inviting us over for dinner often!!!!

Here are the beauties........................

After a few tries I finally got them looking a little better, but they were still horrible. They didn't taste that bad, but they looked awful.

Here is what they are supposed to look like....

If anyone ever makes them and they turn out good, please bring some to me:)

Appointments, fun, and a little getaway

We went to Utah last week. We usually have 3 or 4 appointments for Laynie in one day so we usually just leave Drake home and go down and back in one day, but we only had 2 appointments and so we took Drake and stayed the night and had a little fun!!! It was nice to go down and have some fun, instead of just going to appointments. But........... I don't ever want to go somewhere for just one night again if we don't have to. It is so much work to pack up all the medical equipment, unpack it, put it all back together, pack it back up the next morning, unpack it again, and then put it all back together again!!!! We had a great time though.

Trevor took Drake to McDonalds and to play at a park while we were at our first appointment. She met with the trach/vent clinic, where she saw an ENT, pulmonologist, respiratory therapist, got some blood work, and a chest x-ray. Everything went well and there is nothing major to report:)

Then she met with the audiologist and got fitted for a new ear mold for her hearing aid. She had some hearing tests done in the sound booth. There was no major improvement. She said it is time to start the cochlear implant process if we want now. I think that is what we want for her, but we have to make sure the doctor will even implant her first. Her anatomy is different, so he will look at her MRI and some other things and decide. This is probably one of the hardest decisions I have had to make for her. I want to give her the best possibility to hear, but there are some risks and concerns I still have.

Overall, her appointments were a success and hopefully we don't have to go back until the first of May!!!!

Drake had a blast playing at the park with his dad.

We stayed in Midway and my sister and her family came to visit and go swimming that night. Drake was beyond excited to see his cousins. He told me that "Jaxon is his favorite friend!!!"

Laynie had an absolute BLAST in the pool. She kicked and kicked for an hour. She had a HUGE tantrum when it was time to get out.

Drake loved swimming. The end of last summer he decided that he hated swimming and refused to get in the water. He hadn't been since, so I was worried that he wouldn't want to go. He didn't even hesitate for a second. He jumped right in!!! Drake and Ivy had so much fun swimming together.

The next day we went to The Hogle ZOO. It was 70 degrees outside and beautiful.

This gorilla was hilarious. It laid here picking his nose and eating it.

Laynie was so happy to be outside and seeing new things. The simplest things make her so happy. She is such a sweetheart!!!

Drake's favorite animal is a giraffe

Drake was tired from staying up so late with his cousins so his dad carried him around most of the time. Drake had a great time seeing all the animals though.

There is nothing better than sleeping kids in the car.

I know this picture isn't very appropriate, but I had to document Drake's first time going potty on the side of the road:) He was SOOOO proud of himself!!!

It was a quick trip, but we had a good time!!!

Getting closer...

"The Mother Survival Mode"

I swear all I do is worry about my kids, especially Laynie. I think every mother worries and even has night mares about something terrible happening to her children. I really think it is a mother's biggest fear. I don't like it that I worry about her when I leave. If I missed a call while I am out, my mind immediately turns to something horrible. I worry about her when I go to sleep. I worry about her breathing during the night. I know life isn't fair, but I feel it is not fair that I have that worry. I feel like I should worry about her climbing out of her crib at this age, instead of being able to breathe throughout the night.

Laynie gave us a scare last night. When she woke up this morning I hugged her a little harder and a lot longer!!! Her nurse came and woke me up at 2:30am and said the high-pressure alarm on her ventilator wouldn't stop going off and her PIP was really high. This means that the air that the ventilator is trying to push into her lungs has some sort of resistance. It could mean that she is coughing, the tubing is kinked, or her airway is blocked. She was not coughing and the tubing was not kinked, so I decided to suction her. She was really dry so I added a few drops of saline to her trach and tried to suction a tiny bit deeper and the suction catheter wouldn't budge. I woke her up to try to get her to cough and continued doing this. I was pushing as hard as I could to get the catheter down her trach and nothing would budge. She had a really dry mucous plug. By this time she was having a hard time breathing and was barely getting any air through at all. She was trying to cough but couldn't get the air through. We changed her trach and continued the saline and suctioning and eventually she started to cough things up and was able to breathe again. We had one more trach change and then she was finally back to breathing normal. I got out her old humidifyer and put it on her for awhile to try to get her as moist as possible. I have been worried that she has been too dry ever since she has been using the ventilator. I'm not sure what to do because she wears a HME (little portable humidifier) all day long and has a humidifier on the ventilator. Good thing she has an appointment tomorrow with the trach/vent team. It couldn't come at a better time. This is my biggest fear with her. I worry about mucous plugs because I know how dangerous they can be.

After she was fine and back to normal, I went back to bed. I just laid there and cried and prayed. I couldn't stop thinking of how horrible it is to have such frightening feelings and worries flash through your mind about your child. I was also so thankful to have such a wonderful nurse for Laynie. I am thankful that I am able to have the knowledge to know what to do in an emergency. I am grateful that my body was able to kick into "The Mother Survival Mode" to help my daughter when she needed it so badly. Sometimes I just wish she had some sort of other problems instead of airway problems. There is nothing more stressful and worry-some than an airway. But on the other hand, she is healthy right now and growing and thriving. I couldn't be more blessed to have such a wonderful little girl as my daughter:) I thank Heavenly Father daily that I get to be her mom!!!

Our date with David

My uncle David got to come hang out with us one night. We LOVE having David over. He is such a delight!!! He is always happy and can always make you smile:) He is such a special guy and everyone loves him. We all went to get ice cream!!!

Drake has a real love for his great-uncle David. He snuggled him all night on the couch. He would talk to him and ask David to help him do everything. I'm pretty sure Drake was driving David nuts, but I couldn't stop it because it gave me huge hope that someday he would be nice to his sister!!! It seriously was the sweetest thing. It just melted my heart.

Last week...

We had a pretty good week. Drake got super sick last weekend with the stomach flu and he was so nice and didn't share it with any of us. He is still talking about being sick and tells everyone he sees. If he doesn't want to do something that I ask him to do, he says, "I don't feel really good." He has been better now for about 5 days so I think he is a pretty good milker. We spent our weekend hanging out and spending time with family. It was my grandma's birthday, so we had a little party for her!!!

My grandma (mammy), my mom, me, and Laynie

Laynie loved playing with my mom's glasses. Her personality is just so cute.

Drake loves playing with his cousins.

Halle and Drake

This is my uncle David. David calls Drake David Jr. because his middle name is David. It is so cute:)

Laynie playing in the sink. She LOVES taking baths and splashing! We can't let her get her trach or neck wet so we have to be pretty careful. I wish I could just let her go swimming and splash all she wants. She throws major fits when it is time to get out!!! She is so sweet, but oh boy does she have an attitude. It is pretty funny. She lets you know what she wants.

He loves trains

She likes this new toy and does pretty well on it. I have to be close because she tips over, but she can move it where she wants.

We have been working on tummy time since she was born. It has been her biggest challenge. She hates it with a passion. Her arms are so weak because she hasn't been on her stomach enough to build arm strength. She is starting to stay on her stomach for a little longer and even getting into the crawling position. She can hold herself in the crawling position for a few seconds, then her arms slowly get weak and her head ends up on the floor. I think she is getting closer to crawling though. It is so exciting!!!

Developmental milestones are celebrated very big in our house, because she has to work so hard to accomplish them!